October 2017 - no.1

We landed with a bump at Oradea airport after an interesting flight with Ryanair. At least we had an actual pilot (I think). Otherwise Ryanair keep interaction with real people to a minimum. Checking in is now up to you with the help of machines. Weigh your case, scan your boarding pass and attach the baggage label yourself with the autonomous voice directing you step by step on the basis that you (and everyone else) is hard of hearing. Then take your case to the bag drop zone, place it on the conveyor belt, scan your boarding pass again and off goes your case. You have nothing to show where it is going and no copy of the label. Apparently it is all stored on your bar code, invisible, except to a machine. At the end of all that you feel like jumping on the conveyor belt yourself, just to see what happens next.

Having extra leg-room meant priority boarding thrown in. A first. However, the only priority was to bypass a small queue to get down to the automated train that would take us to the gate. At the actual gate there was simply one mass of people stretching along a corridor and down a flight of stairs. Not wanting to miss out on my only chance to be at the front of the queue and allowed on to the plane ahead of everyone else, I bravely sallied forth, weaving in and out of the waiting mass. With an occasional ‘anyone priority boarding?’ I looked for any fellow elite passengers (with Ryanair?!) to attach myself to. However, shaking heads (negative motion rather than old age) and blank looks (from non-english speaking passengers) kept me going down the stairs until I reached the front of the queue. It seemed that I was the only passenger with priority boarding! 

The front of the queue was at the bottom of the stairs, with two emergency exit-looking doors ahead of us with the airport apron the other side. No desk, no Ryanair ground staff, no automated voice, no signage, no text messages. So there we stood and waited. And waited. And waited. Then someone had the bright idea to try the doors and see if they opened. They did! But, nervous that he had now set off an alarm, he stepped back inside. I asked if there was a plane outside and he said yes - several, including ours. I said that if the plane door was open, then maybe we should just go and get on it. He ventured forth again and a minute later returned with a thumbs up. The emergency doors were flung open and a torrent of passengers burst out, onto the tarmac and towards the plane. I gave up the idea of priority boarding, but I did enjoy the extra leg-room!

Oradea airport has only recently taken international flights and our plane was the only one present on the tarmac. As we disembarked another plane-load of passengers waited in an elongated gazebo, held back by a tarpaulin. No sooner had the last passenger disembarked than the sheet was raised and another wave of people rushed towards the plane. Not sure I’ll bother to claim my priority boarding on the return flight. The other thing is that I am still puzzled that passengers should applaud the safe landing of the plane. I think it must be more out of relief to be getting off than appreciation of any flying skills. After all isn’t that more or less automated nowadays?

Until next time.

Goodnight.